This is why America is buying bigger pants this year.

Current Conditions:
Partly distracted with an 80% chance of interest.

Extended Outlook:
Mostly mellow with scattered humor and inspiration. Winds mainly of change. Chance of cynicism 10%. Highs in the upper adulations and lows in the mid melancholic.

In Summary:
Sometimes funny, sometimes serious and always interesting.

First off, find a secluded area and pour yourself a beverage of choice. You must cleanse the palate to take in the delicacies of the wordsmithing I'm about to throw down.

Second, if it’s cold where you live, grab a blanket, maybe two.

If at all possible, sit down while reading. I hate standing, never stood for it, never will.

Finally, see if you can find the encrypted message left in the third paragraph.